What Is the Thinking?

I had an feeling when the phone rang that things were about to get stupid.

“How may I help you?”

“Hey, yeah, uh could you try and help me fix my computer over the phone, so that I won’t have to bring it in and pay for you to do it?”

“…. Well, what’s wrong with it?”

“It won’t turn on all the way. It keeps getting stuck on a black screen with lots of words on it.”

“I see. Sorry, but I can’t do anything for you over the phone. You’ll have to bring it in. Something like that has the potential to be a complicated fix.”

“Oh, um, really? You can’t just help me fix it over the phone?”

Yes, um, really! I’ll even make you pay. Moron. Seriously, what the heck? You wouldn’t call the doctor’s office and ask him or her to spend a half hour helping you diagnose your crazy skin disorder over the phone, would you? You, my friend, are one step below a free-loader. How you manage to live in society is beyond me. Do you think we can just give you a secret phrase that you can type on your keyboard that will instantly fix all of your computer problems? I just don’t understand. I really don’t, but now I have a headache. A stupid headache, if you will.