Speakers Don't Work by Faith Alone

Today, a man of distinct, non-pleasurable odor and form returned to the shop for the third time in two weeks. The height-challenged man first came to use to have some viruses removed. Three or so days after he retrieved his computer from us, he returned claiming that the sound no longer worked. Eager to change the location of this man to somewhere outside of the shop as soon as humanly possible, I agreed to take a quick look at his computer to see if I could solve his problem on the spot. I booted up his computer, told him that if he wanted sound he would have to de-mute his volume, and sent him on his way.

Now, because I forgot to offer up my daily sacrifices, as I arrived to work this morning, I spotted the short, smelly man waiting for us to open up shop. I opened the door, expressed a highly falsified happy greeting, and asked him what I could do for him. He explained that his speakers still didn’t work. I took a step back to grab a breath of air. This time he decided to bring us his speakers along with his computer for us to look at. I told him that I wouldn’t be able to look at his computer right away, as the workbench was completely full. He said he would come back later in the day. Thank George Lucas he didn’t want to wait around. The smell would have killed me. Anyway, I plugged in his speakers and everything worked just fine. That’s right, just fine. When he came back, he looked somewhat surprised to hear sound coming out of his speakers. He told me that he had spent upwards of ten hours messing around with things, trying to get his sound to work. He then came over and took a closer look at how everything was plugged in. He suddenly took on an air of despair and sighed. He looked at where the power adapter plugs into the back of the sub woofer and said, “So, the power… the power has to be plugged in too? Oh…”

Forty five dollars and a stinky shop later, he left with what he could muster of his pride. Maybe he won't come back for a while. Either way, I'll never forget to offer up my morning sacrifices again!