"You expect me to read the things I sign?"

Once upon a time, a lady brought her computer into the shop.

“It’s broke and I don’t even like computers,” began the lady’s account of her quandary. “It doesn’t do anything anymore. I bumped it lightly while I was vacuuming yesterday and it fell over and the power cord came out, and ever since it just won’t turn back on,” she continued in a deep voice and bad breath. “It actually belongs to my sister. She let me borrow it, you know, for the kids to use for school. She say’s its new and that it can’t be broken, so I need you to figure out what’s wrong with it.” *I attempted to take a step back to evade the reach of her breath, but she countered with a step of her own. “She even owns her own business and her technician guy said he didn’t think it could be broken either.”

My “Lame-Story” alarms were beginning to sound a medium level warning.

“OK, we’ll run some diagnostics and let you know what we discover.” I replied, reluctantly having to open my mouth.

“Thanks. I really don’t even like computers. I use one for work, because I have to, but I honestly hate the things. I never want to own one of my own. I just wish that my kids didn’t need one for school.”

Then she left and we were happy.

Later that day, the diagnostics were done and the results were clear. Her motherboard was dead. She had completely fried it. When we called her with the news, she was less than believing.

“That’s a new motherboard. There’s no way it can be bad. I’m going to pick it up and let my sisters technician guy look at it.” She replied. She was intent on remaining ignorant.

“That’s fine. You'll just need to pay a small evaluation charge and we’ll have your computer here waiting for you.”

"Alright."

..
..
..

5 months later…

..
..
..

A strangely familiar lady walked through the door. When she spoke, the smell of her breath was instantly recognizable.

“I’m here to pick up my computer. It’s been here for a while now. I just haven’t gotten around to picking it up.”

So I started looking for her computer. Then, after a while of searching, discovered from our records that we had junked her computer a few weeks ago, after trying to call and tell her that she needed to pick up her computer soon. It’s not uncommon for someone to never return to retrieve a machine we diagnosed as dead. They like to skip out on the evaluation fee and leave us with a useless machine that takes up space. So, after four months or so if we still cannot get in contact with them, we get rid of their machines.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad.” It became apparent rather quickly that she was actually quite fond of the computer that she had abandoned for five months. “Why would you guys throw away someone’s computer? Why didn’t anyone tell me? What am I supposed to do now?” I told her that we did indeed try to call her and that anything left in the shop for over sixty days technically may become property of the shop and that I didn’t know what she was supposed to do now. “Well, it doesn’t say that you’ll throw it away anywhere!” She pointed out determinedly. I then showed her the work order she signed and the line that states that equipment left here over sixty days may become our property. She then decided that tears and mumbling were in order, so I can’t really tell you what she said next, because I have only theories. In the end, she reassured me that she was very disappointed and that she would be calling the owner. I felt very reassured, at least.

Perhaps I should stop smiling when these things happen. Anyway, she hasn’t called back yet. I think it might take her a few months to get around to it.

Hopefully this lady took away a few life lessons that will help her out in the future. First, don’t hit your computer with a vacuum. They don’t like that. Second, read the small print when you sign something. It could be useful information. Third, don’t leave something you need in a repair shop for five months and expect it to still be there when you get around to picking it up. Honestly, even if we hadn’t tried to call her, what was she expecting? And finally, if someone is constantly taking steps away from you when you talk, it’s probably because you have bad breath. Try the new Listerine 12 hour stuff. It’s great.